The business of deliberately MANifesting your ideal mate

xmas dogs

Don’t let the holidays bring you down. Use them, instead, to get down to business! What business is that, you ask? The business of deliberately MANifesting (or Womanifesting, if you prefer) your ideal mate.

First off, I should say that if wallowing in self-pity and a glass of brandy is your thing, I certainly don’t want to deprive you of it. But if you prefer to have a good time during the holidays, despite being single, and move closer to being happily hooked-up, then read on, my friend.

Remember when you were a kid and you had an “imaginary friend”?

Okay, so maybe you had an imaginary friend and maybe you didn’t, but I’m positive that you had an imagination. Have you used it much lately? Likely, no, you haven’t. That’s because we’re trained from a young age to stop doing that. We’re told it’s foolish and shameful and a waste of time, and that we must shift our attention to “reality.” Maybe that’s the point where your happiness tanked and you resigned yourself to being a “grown up” like all the rest.

Did you trade in your vivid imagination for “realism” and logic and all the stuff that society thinks is crucial? If so, you did yourself a grand disservice. Not to worry, though. You can jump-start your happiness and reconnect with your innocence and imagination any time you like.

Imagination is your latent superpower. It’s your manifesting fuel, the blueprint of your life experience. When allowed to run wild and free, it is your connection to your Higher Self (or… to the zero-point field of possibilities, or the universe, or god, or your fairy-elfin pals, or your subconscious mind. Choose your construct.) Your imaginative faculty links you to your inner guidance, and the part of you that’s bigger than just your human personality or ego.

In truth, you use your imagination all the time. But you probably use it to focus on stuff you don’t like and don’t want, and in doing so, you inadvertently create more of the same. I’m not picking on you, by the way. Everyone finds it challenging to commandeer their mind-power to yield pleasing results. No one ever said the Earth Game was easy. But you can do this. You’re a Spiritual Bad-Ass!

It comes down to this: if you want your outer world—including your love life—to change, then start employing your imagination in big, fun, festive ways. Give yourself permission to indulge… and tell that nagging “adult” voice to hit the road.

The holidays are prime fodder for you to imagine being with your ideal mate.

Are you having dinner with family or friends? Imagine your lover man (or woman) is sitting right there next to you, clinking glasses in the toast or passing the gravy. Imagine s/he is smiling, and imagine how your peeps are loving the presence of this person in your circle. Get juicy with the details. The key is to stick with whatever feels really good, and to disregard the pesky “realism.”

Is it Christmas that gets you down, as a single person? Imagine your wonderful mate is there with you by the fire, giving you delightful gifts, kissing you under the mistletoe, being naughty and nice, going skiing with you. Take whatever aspect of the holidays that causes you distress and sadness, and deliberately spin it into a brand-new experience in the privacy of your mind. Go on, do it! You’re going to really enjoy this.

What’s the use, you ask? Ah yes, that is the adult-programming talking. Besides being more fun than wallowing, the use is that if you persist in using your imagination in this conscious, exciting way, your imaginings WILL be translated into real-life physical counterparts. You are already a MANifesting machine. I’m only advocating that you use the machinery for good and not evil. 🙂

And what about New Year’s Eve? That’s a biggie. It used to really bum me out when I was single, especially when the clock struck midnight. That is… until I realized I was creating my own (miserable) reality. Once I took the helm of my mind and my imagination, I used New Year’s to call in the Man of My Dreams. And yes, it worked! I ended up meeting him a few weeks later in January, and we’ve been together for five years now.

Wanna hear how I MANifested my man that New Year’s Eve?

Leverage your holiday environment to reel in your mate quickly

I was really into swing dancing, so my ideal New Year’s Eve was a dancehall filled with hundreds of people decked out in vintage duds, and a swinging live band. Larger events tend to be easier when you’re single, compared to, say, holing up in a ski cabin with 3 happy couples. At a larger event, there’s more stimuli to use in your imagining, and more possibilities for you to work with, so choose your holiday events wisely. Prioritize your own happiness over feelings of obligation (I recommend this in all aspects of life).

Since the swing dance scene is very social and old-fashioned, everyone changes partners after each song. This allowed me to dance with various men, all the while imagining that I was dancing with MY sweetheart. I paid no attention to the “realistic” details of whether or not I liked any of these guys, or whether or not they were even single. All of that is irrelevant. What mattered was what I was feeling and imagining.

See, the universe is listening to your every vibration-emanation. It doesn’t discern between the stuff you are actually looking at in “real life” or the stuff you’re experiencing in your imagination. After a short time lag, it’s going to match you up with “real life” experiences that equate to your outgoing signals. That’s just the way life works, despite whatever the other well-meaning humans have led you to believe. Life is not happening TO you; your consciousness is impressing upon the formless substance of Life. You really are a powerful creator.

When you keep sending out the “I’m happily hooked up” vibes, it’s just a matter of time before you find yourself—literally—happily hooked up. In other words, Fake It ‘Til You Be Makin’ It!

Crank up the power of your imagination. There’s never been a better time than during the holidays, because it’s like a ready-made stage setting, complete with all the scenery, props, actors and extras you need to spark a rousing imaginary good time.

How I Met the Man of My DreamsBe creative with this! Did you see something lovely in a shop window? Imagine your mate gives you that same item as a holiday gift. Do you love certain holiday foods? Imagine your mate is expertly cooking them for you… or that you’re dining out in the best restaurant. This imagining should be deliriously fun, by the way—that’s how you know you’re on track.

The only thing stopping you from MANifesting your ideal lover is your cranky old mind. But it’s not really yours. It’s filled with ideas from your parents, teachers, other “grown-ups,” and society as a whole. Give yourself the ultimate holiday gift: permission to release mind-albatrosses and become like a kid once more!

Happy Imagining… and Happy MANifesting,



Author: Debbianne DeRose

Debbianne DeRose brings much-needed levity to the field of metaphysics and self-improvement. Her popular, humorous books include “How I Met the Man of My Dreams: a Guide to MANifesting® Yours,” “Resistance is Feudal: Modernize Your Mind to Manifest like a Mofo,” and “Manifesting for Simpletons.” Visit for more free goodies and inspiration.

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